Growing up, I was always taught that you work for what you are given. Nothing was ever free. I wasn't ever lacking growing up, I always had what I needed, but I had to work for it.
That is where my problem now lies. I still believe you work for everything you are given, and if you know me, you know I love to be in control of EVERYTHING. It is definitely one of my flaws and I am working on it. The past month or so, things have been really tough. Some of my relationships with people have suffered because of the situation my family is in. I am struggling to make it through these next couple of weeks until I can quit and stay home with my baby, as I get negativity thrown at me from people who are involved in my everyday life.
My issue is, when do I just let go? When do I trust that quitting my job and staying home with my child and not letting someone else take care of her is the right thing and that as long as I do the right thing, Heavenly Father will help us? I mean, John has a job now, sure he doesn't have insurance yet and we are trying to buy a house, but why can't I just take the leap? I HATE that my baby is 14 months old and since she was 10 weeks old I have worked. She has grown up without me during the day and I find myself jealous of the new moms who get to spend every hour with their little ones who are so fresh to this world. I missed that. I feel cheated, and I feel Kiley was cheated.
I would love nothing more than to go into my boss's office and give my 2 weeks right now, but I just can't. I am planning on doing it when John is off of probation and his insurance kicks in, but what is stopping me now, especially in light of recent events?
I need strength.
Highlights from April
4 years ago
4 comments:
hmmmm, we need to talk! What you need to do right now is pray. Once you get the answer He decides on that is what you do. If you already have your answer....well....then is it not a sin not to listen to Him? BUT I do not know what is totally going on at the moment. We need to talk/catch up/see Dear John. Call me!
Katie, you're doing a great job. It's never easy to live with a sacrifice as great as the one you have been confronted with. I'd hang on a few more weeks until John is off probation or at least until you close on the house!
It's really hard when you quit and all your faith is in the Lord to take care of you and things still aren't going beautifully. Jake and I have had our fair share of moments where I was poised and ready to leave the house in order to relieve the financial stress. The Lord will take care of you though and he knows how hard you're working and sacrificing. Stay the course and it will all be behind you before you know it. You can do it! Call if you ever need anything.
Just think of all the fun we'll have... That's all that really matters... ;) If you want legitimate advice you'll have to ask me in person!
So glad I got to talk to you tonight, my love. I just found this quote by President Eyring and wanted to share it with you:
"I bear you my testimony that the Lord will always prepare a way for you to escape from the trials you will be given if you understand two things. One is that you need to be on the Lord's errand. The second thing you need to understand is that the escape will almost never be out of the trial; it will usually be through it. If you pray to have the experience removed altogether, you may not find the way prepared for you. Instead, you need to pray to find the way of deliverance through it."
I love you always<3
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